I knew, logically, that beginning my querying journey would be a scary time. But nothing really prepared me for that feeling. That shaking hand, hovering over the submit button. Is this my best work? Am I ready? More importantly - can I cope with the rejection from agents and agencies that I admire?
I thought that having been an academic for so long might have prepared me for this. I’m used to it, I told myself. I’ve submitted my work to peers, to journals, to amazing academics around the world. I’ve put my work out there before, waiting for feedback. To see if it makes an impact. Applied for competitive funding where the chances of a successful outcome are minimal. Heck, I’ve even published a book before, albeit Heritage Crime probably isn’t making the best seller charts anytime soon. But it’s very clear to me now, this is a very different world, with very different pressures.
Above all else, in A Quartz Storm, there’s a little piece of my soul on every page. Sections that have had me in tears as I said goodbye to characters. Scenes that I hated writing, but knew were needed to advance the plot and character arcs. Characters that took the story in different directions, demanded more time on the page, or refused my attempts to make them kinder. The world that I wished existed, where disabilities are accommodated without thought, queernormativity presides, and found family supports each other shines through. But it collides with the misogynistic and power-hungry rulers, morally grey characters, and resource hoarding that dominate the tale*. Not for nothing did I work in the social sciences for so long.
Beta readers liked the book. Or at least, a much earlier version of the book. It’s stronger for their feedback, I’m sure. I think that means others will like it too. Yet it remains: a file on my computer; a printout on my desk. Not yet released to the wider world. There’s a sense of limbo in this moment. A possibility. A hope. That perhaps this book will defeat the odds for debut fiction writers, and make it through the hurdles of securing an agent. And then attracting a publisher. And a successful marketing campaign, of course. Allowing A Quartz Storm to land defiantly on the shelves of bookstores many moons later.
Yep, it’s a long road. And that’s the traditional publishing route. I haven’t ruled out self-publishing, although I would like the sequel to be written first. Which brings me to my final point… what’s next?
Drumroll, please…
I’m learning a new programming language, React. Seriously, that’s my focus for the next couple of months. I work with my partner in his amazing micro business that is billed as a Pedagogic and Technological Outfitters. I’ve done a lot of policy and bid writing work over the past months, and now I’m training to take on some more of the web development activity. He’s been great at giving me the flexibility I need to write, and now I want to repay that with some concentrated focus on the business**.
I still will be writing though. I’ve got my work in progress, The Faerie Cake Killer, that has been in abeyance over the last few months whilst I did a rewrite on A Quartz Storm. And I also have the Quartz Storm sequel (Title TBC) sketched out in my mind, and I’m incredibly excited about getting that written. But for now, I’ll keep sending out queries and good vibes into the universe, and see what comes back to me!
*And magic of course, lots and lots of magic. And dragons. Well, just the one dragon actually.
**Pgogy Webstuff. If you need a website, WordPress support, e-learning resource, web tools, or anything else along those lines, drop me a message… this pays the bills so that I can write!